What It's Like to be an Introvert | Back Home Again: What It's Like to be an Introvert

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

What It's Like to be an Introvert

Being in the middle of a crowded room during a meeting and feeling like you're totally alone.

Dreading going anywhere with large crowds because it's exhausting and incredibly frustrating.

Feeling like you're totally unapproachable/unlikeable because you're not constantly loud.

Being polite and waiting your turn to speak only to be cut off by said loud, extroverted people when you do try to say something.

Leaving a meeting as soon as it's over because the awkwardness of hanging out afterwards when no one talks to you is too much.

Getting upset and feeling like there's something wrong with you because it seems like no one makes an effort to speak to you unless they're already your friend.

Yeah, so this was my Tuesday night.

Being an introvert is definitely a hard thing to be in an extroverted world and I wind up feeling like no one cares about me or anything I have to say the majority of the time, even if that's not others intention. It's like people think I don't want to talk or something, which totally isn't the case. Believe me, I will talk your ear off if you give me the chance. It's just that I prefer ONE ON ONE interaction v. group interaction. Little do they know that it's completely uncomfortable and exhausting to start a conversation myself. So, I wind up hoping that one of the extroverts in the room will start one with me, which usually never happens. I can be outgoing, but it requires much more effort and if I'm already tired or stressed, it's definitely not going to happen.

I saw the following myths on a Facebook post awhile back so I thought that I would share some things about introverts. Maybe some extroverts out there will learn a thing or two :-)

Myth #1 – Introverts don’t like to talk.
This is not true. Introverts just don’t talk unless they have something to say. They hate small talk. Get an introvert talking about something they are interested in, and they won’t shut up for days.
Myth #2 – Introverts are shy.
Shyness has nothing to do with being an Introvert. Introverts are not necessarily afraid of people. What they need is a reason to interact. They don’t interact for the sake of interacting. If you want to talk to an Introvert, just start talking. Don’t worry about being polite.
Myth #3 – Introverts are rude.
Introverts often don’t see a reason for beating around the bush with social pleasantries. They want everyone to just be real and honest. Unfortunately, this is not acceptable in most settings, so Introverts can feel a lot of pressure to fit in, which they find exhausting.
Myth #4 – Introverts don’t like people.
On the contrary, Introverts intensely value the few friends they have. They can count their close friends on one hand. If you are lucky enough for an introvert to consider you a friend, you probably have a loyal ally for life. Once you have earned their respect as being a person of substance, you’re in.
Myth #5 – Introverts don’t like to go out in public.
Nonsense. Introverts just don’t like to go out in public FOR AS LONG. They also like to avoid the complications that are involved in public activities. They take in data and experiences very quickly, and as a result, don’t need to be there for long to “get it.” They’re ready to go home, recharge, and process it all. In fact, recharging is absolutely crucial for Introverts.
Myth #6 – Introverts always want to be alone.
Introverts are perfectly comfortable with their own thoughts. They think a lot. They daydream. They like to have problems to work on, puzzles to solve. But they can also get incredibly lonely if they don’t have anyone to share their discoveries with. They crave an authentic and sincere connection with ONE PERSON at a time.
Myth #7 – Introverts are weird.
Introverts are often individualists. They don’t follow the crowd. They’d prefer to be valued for their novel ways of living. They think for themselves and because of that, they often challenge the norm. They don’t make most decisions based on what is popular or trendy.
Myth #8 – Introverts are aloof nerds.
Introverts are people who primarily look inward, paying close attention to their thoughts and emotions. It’s not that they are incapable of paying attention to what is going on around them, it’s just that their inner world is much more stimulating and rewarding to them.
Myth #9 – Introverts don’t know how to relax and have fun.
Introverts typically relax at home or in nature, not in busy public places. Introverts are not thrill seekers and adrenaline junkies. If there is too much talking and noise going on, they shut down. Their brains are too sensitive to the neurotransmitter called Dopamine. Introverts and Extroverts have different dominant neuro-pathways. Just look it up.
Myth #10 – Introverts can fix themselves and become Extroverts.
A world without Introverts would be a world with few scientists, musicians, artists, poets, filmmakers, doctors, mathematicians, writers, and philosophers. That being said, there are still plenty of techniques an Extrovert can learn in order to interact with Introverts. Introverts cannot “fix themselves” and deserve respect for their natural temperament and contributions to the human race. 

Here is another great post about introverts. 

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  1. It was nice reading a different perspective since I am certainly an extrovert :) Loves this post!!

  2. I know you are :-) Just wanted to express the other side!

  3. I'm either an introvert or socially awkward. or both! :)

  4. Wow, I loved this. I am a not an introvert by any means...I am quite the opposite. My 12 year old daughter is an introvert and for years I struggled trying to understand why she is that way. The way you explain the many myths about being an introvert and the way introverts deal with different situations is an eye opener for me. I cant thank you enough for helping me learn to accept that its OK that my daughter is an introvert :)

  5. I'm definitely an introvert and socially awkward at times too.

  6. I cannot even begin to tell you the number of times my mother would push me to be more outgoing or talk to this or that person during my middle school years. It would result in so many fights because she just didn't get how uncomfortable that made me. I'm glad that you were able to take something away from my post!

  7. I think that's why I enjoy blogging so much. It's an easier way to express myself.


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