We've had a rough couple of mornings at my house. Alan is out of town this week for work and while I pack lunches the night before, it's been a struggle to get myself and both kids ready and out the door to Pre-k and daycare and get to work on time.
Today he asked me, "Mommy, why are you always yelling at me and making me sad?" I immediately felt like crap. Ewan and I go round and round a lot because we are so much alike. The past two mornings have been filled with tantrums about how he doesn't like his shirt to his socks don't fit into his shoes to insisting that I put black beans instead of blueberries in his oatmeal. All the while taking up precious time before we need to leave and resulting in me just picking him up and carrying him to the car while he's screaming.
Today I woke up extra early and was really making a conscious effort to be patient and not let my exasperation show. While I was definitely frustrated this morning, I didn't think I was yelling. However, I will do better. I realize that single parents do this all the time - and it's HARD - and I also realize that I can't always be his friend, that I must also be his parent. But, I never want my kids to feel like all I do is yell at them. I grew up in a house full of yelling and it sucked. Really and truly. I don't want my kids to grow up in that situation.
Ewan, I am so sorry. I forget sometimes that while you may seem like such a big kid, you are still a little guy.
I love you so much and I don't want you to think all I do is yell at you. You are my baby boy and I love you to the stars and back. Don't ever forget that little man.
Photo Credit: Roesner Photography