Home Really Is Where the Heart Is | Back Home Again: Home Really Is Where the Heart Is

Wednesday, March 18, 2015

Home Really Is Where the Heart Is

As I entered my mother's home, my childhood home, for what was quite possibly the last time last week, I was shocked.

Shocked at how much it no longer felt like home and how much it just felt like an empty shell. I made the comment to Alan that it reminded me of one of the abandoned houses we document - only traces of the people that lived there remain, but no longer a home. 

Better times at my mom's: My 5th birthday and 5th Christmas

I haven't been inside since before my grandmother died and it was just weird. My mother has been living there by herself for a little over a year and it's amazing at how different it is. She and my uncle have been slowly cleaning out my grandmother's things, as well as some of my mother's, and the place has that abandoned feeling to it, especially since my mom hasn't been able to get around by herself very well. 

As I was going through things, taking some of my stuff that I wanted to make sure was kept, it hit me. This place was no longer my home. Physically it hasn't been my home in almost ten years. It's where my family was, so it was still home in a way. But no longer. 

While my mom will always be my mom no matter where she is living, my home is with my family. With Alan, Ewan and Cecily.

20 comments:

  1. my parents moved out of my childhood home so I'll never see it again. it's sad!

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  2. I am right there with you. Honestly, I don't feel at home when I visit my parents house or in-laws house. I feel most at home moving around the country with the hubs and our pup. :)

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  3. I shared last year when I closed on my Mom's estate that a house is truly just a stage where our lives take place. Our home is with the people we love (not that you don't love your mom). I haven't even driven by my Mom or grandmother's house since they were sold as they have no connection for me but I certainly can remember the fantastic memories.

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  4. I recently went through something similar and am personally dreading the holidays due to it not being the same. I totally understand what you are going through!

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  5. My mom likely won't be returning so it's as if she moved out. It is sad!

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  6. It really is just a stage. I was shocked by that feeling because I guess I never really thought I would experience that so soon.

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  7. Ahhhhhh is it weird I realy have never had a home like that lol.... My dad is a ceo of a restarant chain and we moved like every few years when he needed to be in another area for the company.... The closest I can relate is that after I graduated from high schools lived in Orlando for 8ish years.... And I think if that as home since that's where most of my friends are :)

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  8. That's such a hard moment to process and accept. You are blessed with a wonderful home, though!

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  9. My mom moved to an apartment after my papa died and it would feel really weird to go back to the old homefront without either of them being there any longer. I am still trying to get used to her apartment because home always felt like home but her new place doesn't. It does to her though so that's all that matters. Home to me is where I'm at.

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  10. It is really hard to be in a home once someone has passed. My dad and step mom's home just isn't the same without my Dad roaming the halls, and my grandfather's empty chair in his house just isn't the same without him in it. Thankfully there are so many wonderful memories to make up for the feeling of loss.
    Amanda
    www.queenofthelandoftwigsnberries.com

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  11. I cannot imagine going home and having that empty feeling. It's something I am not looking forward to, especially with an aging father. I can only imagine how hard it is to take in. At least you will always have those happy memories as a child, there.

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  12. We moved often with the military. My parents are moving from the home they have lived in for over 11 years which is the longest they have been in on spot. It will be weird for my kids though when we
    visit them for the first time in their new house.

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  13. It is an odd feeling, isn't it? After my grandparents passed away, we went to clean out their house. It felt so lonely and vacated. Like it was missing its soul. That's what an abandoned house is to me, a house without its heart and soul. Families make them alive.

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  14. Awww such a nice time reminiscing your childhood. There's nothing compared to the feeling of being home where you grow up. I miss mine so much, unfortunately I can't visit that often since I am thousands of miles away.

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  15. That is a good way to put it. It's just a shell without a heart and soul. I like that.

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  16. My grandmother passed away right before Thanksgiving and that first year was really hard. All the holidays were. This past Christmas it wasn't as bad, but it's still weird with her not being around. It'll be even weirder with my mom likely not being in her old place.

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  17. I had a really hard time when we moved from PA back to IN because that was our first home together. But, our house now really feels like home. If we ever move, it will be so weird to leave it.

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  18. My parents are still living in the same house that I grew up in since I was six. They experienced a house fire a couple years ago, and it was rebuilt, and oddly still feels like the old home even though it looks
    completely different (from the exterior color to the new pantry). I helped clear out my grandmother's house when she relocated to California. It was sad knowing that she wouldn't be here anymore, and I wouldn't have a place to visit to see her when I wanted.

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  19. My parents have moved a lot since living in the house I grew up in. However the house we grew up in was haunted, so I never really liked that house to start. But the house the have currently. Always reminds me of home and being there is always awesome. However when my mom's mom passed, her house was weird to be in afterwards, because there was still the scent of her yet she wasn't there it was weird. But that was 10 years ago now.

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  20. This is a very sweet story. It's so true though! I haven't lived at my childhood home for 11 years now, and I'm always so happy to be going back home after I visit. Although people I love still live there, it's just not MINE anymore. :)

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