Let It Go | Back Home Again: Let It Go

Saturday, October 11, 2014

Let It Go

I've been thinking about something a friend of mine said to me recently:

The ultimate lesson that took me too long to learn was to let it go. I'm not their friend, I can't make them be my friend (my true friend), and trying isn't worth it. It sucks but you'll be so much happier when you move on.

This was so eloquently stated and I can't get this out of my head. 

I'm the kind of person that puts my heart and soul into the relationships around me and I always wind up hurt because that effort isn't reciprocated. It's such a conundrum because I am so tired of constantly being in a state of being hurt and upset by this kind of thing, yet that's who I am. 

How do you change something that deeply ingrained about yourself? Especially when it's something that you value as a good trait - being kind unto others - and don't want to turn into a less caring person.

There have been some events recently that have left me deeply hurt and I just can't do this anymore. This isn't good for my health and I'm tired of always feeling like crap and like there's something wrong with me.

So, I am re-evaluating everything. Friendships, relationships with family members, organizations I'm associated with. Everything. 

I'm not a quitter, so I will finish out things I have already committed to or that I have paid for. But aside from that, we'll see. If it means that the only people I talk to are Alan and the kids, then so be it I guess. 

At least I know I'll be around people that really value me.

11 comments:

  1. Relationships where you are putting in all of the energy are one sided. If you are involved in organizations that leave you more exhausted than fulfilled- then it's time to realize you are in a new chapter of your life. As for relationships, you have to be true to yourself. It is a good trait to be kind to others, just don't go above and beyond if it isn't reciprocated. Hang in there. I know how hard it is.

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  2. How fun?! My kids LOVE all things Lego.

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  3. Ugh you have no idea. When I leave meetings almost in tears every time, it's time to move on I think.

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  4. You should look into seeing if there's one coming to your area. It's so cool! They have all these different areas based on the various LEGO sets and also grouped by age that you can play with. Plus they have models put together - in Louisville they had Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, superheroes...I don't even remember all of them. Then there's competitions the kids can participate in and also the LEGO store. I wanted all the things in it!

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  5. Yes, just finish out your commitments and celebrate when your time is done!! I had one time when I had to turn down the same committee appointment THREE times. I was just proud I could say no each time.

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  6. Umm.. do adults count as kids?! The hubs would probably love this.

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  7. You should enter! I think both Alan and I had more fun than Ewan did when we went in Louisville.

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  8. It's a hard start but a happy one! Wishing you the best!

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  9. Someone once told me that relationships have an expiration date. Some will last a lifetime while others only days, weeks, or months. That helped me deal with what I thought were failed relationships. In reality, they weren't ... they lived their life and then stopped. It helped me to appreciate the good times and understand that the good times can't always be sustained. There are a lot of reasons why friendships don't last but thinking about them and letting them hurt us isn't productive or necessary. Perhaps understanding that the expiration date was up will help us to let it go!

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  10. This is very true and there are instances where relationships with colleagues and friends have ended for whatever reason and it doesn't bother me. However there are some that do upset me and just take time to move on from, even if I know their "lifetime" has ended.

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