So I spent the majority of the service at church this morning almost in tears. There was a paper in the bulletin today about donating Easter flowers in memory of someone and all I could think about was my grandmother.
Not Easter lilies, but daffodils from my backyard.
My grandmother loved spring and Easter. My mom or one of my uncles would always get her an Easter lily and she would donate one in memory of my grandfather to church. All I could think about was that I had no one to get a lily for this year, which reminded me of how much I miss her.
I honestly don't talk about her much, to friends/family or on here because I usually end up bawling if I do. I happened to look at photos of her around this time last year here at our house, so vibrant and full of life holding Cecily and it broke my heart to be reminded yet again that she's gone.
The previous owners of our house loved flowers and had awesome landscaping. So of course our entire yard is one giant bloom from April through June. We've been spending a lot of time outside lately as the weather has finally started to warm up and I'm enjoying looking at all the signs of life going on in my yard. Except that , yet again, they're reminders of my grandma and how much she loved this time of year.
So this morning I had an epiphany. I'm starting a new tradition: donating flowers to my church's Easter service in memory of my grandmother. Even though we will be at my in-law's this year, it's my small way of letting her know that she's loved - and missed.