Why I Don't Think I Could Ever Stay Home Full Time | Back Home Again: Why I Don't Think I Could Ever Stay Home Full Time

Tuesday, February 11, 2014

Why I Don't Think I Could Ever Stay Home Full Time

I'm constantly surrounded by stay at home moms, which quite honestly is really hard for me because there are so many things I would love to do with my kids that I can't because they're always during the day, during the week. 


People have said so many things to me or around me regarding staying at home v. working, including saying that a SAHM mom is a much better mother because she's home, telling me that a daycare raises my children, that being at home has helped so much with breastfeeding, saying that I must not be willing to sacrifice anything to make it work to stay home, friends making plans with each other in front of me to do things only those who are at home can do, constantly being told that it must be so hard to be away from my kids and that a woman's place should be at home. All of these things have really hurt my feelings and/or really made me mad. Unintentional or not, it's like the person saying it is rubbing salt in the wound that I'm not home with my kids. My favorites are the statements insinuating that I'm a bad parent because I work. How easy it is to judge when you don't know my situation at all...

However, after spending the last week alone with the kids while Alan was out of town for work, I honestly don't know if I would want to stay home all the time with them. I found myself relishing taking them to daycare in the mornings so I could get some adult, intellectual interaction at work as well as some quiet time without having to worry about them waking up.  My sister-in-law made the comment to me once that it takes a special person to stay at home all the time. While I'm not entirely sure how to take that (sorry Megan!), she does have a point. Don't get me wrong, I love my children to pieces and love spending time with them, but I am a very intellectual person and I think I would lose my mind without some adult interaction that doesn't involve talking about kids and parenting all day long.

This doesn't make me a bad parent, as some like to insinuate. It makes me a better parent because I know my limits and really enjoy my time with my kids. 

7 comments:

  1. My sister had to work (her husband left her when her baby was not even one), and she said the same thing. I babysit other babies whose mommies have to work, but they are terrific moms. Just be the best mom you can be when you are with them and put them in people's care that love them when you're gone. I know at school, my kids learn so much by being with different people.

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  2. I hate that I'm not home with them, but I also know that I would go crazy being home all the time. I think part-time would be a good balance for me because it's a bit of both.

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  3. I do part time work and part time stay at home (as you know) and some days I am really glad I can do that, and some days I really wish that I could work full time...lol. It is nice to be able to be home with them for part of the time, but I do miss the adult interaction. Some days I feel like all I do is help Anya go to the bathroom/change Felix's diaper, feed the kids/nurse Felix, clean up their messes, and try to keep the house in some kind of order...it can get frustrating really fast. I don't think I could be at home full time, either.

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  4. Very true and good point Holly! As a stay at home mom, yes, there are some days that I want to run away and pull my hair out and hide from my children! Haha! I love them to death but it can get exhausting after awhile. That's why I started my blog to be able to actually have adult interaction during my days! :) I have also been a working mother (only a week though, I couldn't handle it), and it's hard as well! I felt like I was constantly behind on housework and always running and busy, so props to you for doing that! :)

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  5. I think whether you stay home or work is a personal decision. You have to decide what is best for your family. It won't be the same for everyone.

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  6. You're right it is a personal decision. And unfortunately either way, people judge you :(

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  7. everyone is different and what makes you the best mom you can be may not be the same as it is for someone else! so do what you need to do without feeling badly! :)

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