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Sunday, November 26, 2017

What is Post Partum Depression?

...it's feeling utterly alone.

...it's feeling like a hot mess 24/7.

...it's yelling at your kids/husband and feeling like a horrible person for it.

...it's knowing you need help but can't do anything about it until you have insurance again.

...it's feeling utterly alone.

...it's not wanting to leave the house. Ever.

...it's all you can do to pick up the kids from school because you're so exhausted.

...it's your five year old daughter comforting you when you're bawling because your five month old won't sleep and your husband is out of town.

...it's answering with "I'm ok" or "I'm good" when people ask how you're doing because they don't want to hear the truth.

...it's feeling utterly alone.

...it's not bothering to wear anything but sweats because what's the point.

...it's wanting to crawl in a hole and never come out.

...it's feeling like no one cares.

...it's wanting to blend into the wall.

...it's feeling like you're screaming in the middle of a crowded room and no one notices.

...it's wondering why it's always you that has to reach out.

...it's just being so, utterly alone.

Sunday, October 1, 2017

Pumpkin Patch 2017

It's October, it's October! I love fall and October is my favorite month of the year. Cooler temps, changing leaves and pumpkins everywhere. I love it. We go to the same local pumpkin patch every year, but this year we decided to do it differently. Since Alan's extended family hasn't seen Cameron yet, we made a trip to Louisville for the weekend and then stopped at Huber Orchard and Winery on the way home. It's a huge place with a farm market, orchards, pumpkin patch, winery, distillery and kids area. Almost every time we go to Louisville we say that we should go sometime, so this year we made it happen.


We had originally intended to take the wagon ride out to pick pumpkins and apples, but I decided to buy already picked apples at the market. The kids were wild with excitement and after falling in a hole in the pumpkin patch, I wasn't feeling picking apples too. We got orange and white pumpkins and the nice thing was that they capped the price of their pumpkins so you could get a ginormous one if you could carry it. I've never had a white pumpkin before and I cannot wait to carve a ghost out of it. Get it a ghost...on a white pumpkin... Yes, I'm a nerd :-)

The kids had a blast in the family fun park, riding pedal cars, going down the giant slide, playing on the playground, jumping on the bouncy things and more. They had a corn maze, bamboo maze and flag maze, but we didn't do any of them since we're planning on going to a local Halloween event at the end of the month with a corn maze right down the road from our house (It's something we look forward to every year and I cannot wait!). That, and Alan's foot was really sore since he's healing from a fracture a few weeks ago. 


October is one of the busiest months of the year for us, with two birthdays and our wedding anniversary all in the same week. But, I absolutely love this time of year. The temps here finally fell out of the 90's last week and it's so nice now. We have a lot of stuff planned this month that I hopefully will get a chance to share. Yay October!

Monday, September 18, 2017

Cameron Three Months

Cameron turned three months old on Friday but it's been a little crazy so I'm just now getting his update written. Alan fractured a bone in his foot on Thursday so he's got a boot and crutches for a few weeks and on the couch with his foot up and icing it when at home. 


This kid. He still screams, but when he's not screaming and wanting to be held, he's so alert and looking around. And smiling. He squeaks instead of laughs, like he just can't get a laugh out yet. He's got to be held up so he can look around and take in the world. Even though he smiles a lot, I still can't gotten one on camera. The photo above is the closest I've gotten and as soon as I was done with his three month photos he was all smiles. 

I had pretty much resigned myself to the fact that I was just going to have to deal with using a breast shield because he just wouldn't latch to me. But we've now gone over 24 hours with no shield so I'm really really hoping that he's over it. It's so annoying and cumbersome to nurse in public with it so it would be awesome if it's no longer needed. 

I also was brave and put him in child watch at the Y so I could get some much needed exercise. I've been run/walking with the dog and Cameron through the neighborhood while Cecily's at prek in the mornings, but the few weeks of cooler weather appear to be over for awhile and since it's nasty humid, I needed to get over my trepidation of leaving him. I was gone about 30 min and he slept the entire time in the swing. It was amazing to get that time to myself. 

Which brings me to my next big announcement...I'm now a stay at home mom! Things didn't work out with daycare so we made the decision that it would be best for me to just stay home. I am enjoying my time with Cameron, but it's definitely different not working!
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